I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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