Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
