Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
