wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
