I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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