My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
