I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
