watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
