they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
