1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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