Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
