so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
