new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My ATM looks so different sober.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
