Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
