Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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