You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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