Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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