she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
