if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
