Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
why is half of my head shaved?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
