The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
