Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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