wat bout pragnant strippers??
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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