What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
