Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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