I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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