Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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