you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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