maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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