i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
