doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
