I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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