Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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