I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
