I am puke
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
