she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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