dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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