is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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