If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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