is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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