So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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