I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
