If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
True college students do jello shots in the library
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize