oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
