is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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