after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
