When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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