If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
