So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize