On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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