I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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