I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
