yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
