I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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