K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
