I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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