She's JV to your varsity
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
