Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
