I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
