I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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