Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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