Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
